The final word on Big Brother

Here at wellyousaythat© we go to great lengths to bring you opinions on the burning issues of the day. With this in mind I retired to the sofa, with a packet of mini Chocó Leibnitz and fast forwarded through episode one of the final Big Brother recorded on Sky+.

This show, that has done more than most to erode the reputation of British TV, has reached the end of its tether. The final set of housemates/wannabes entered in an elaborately pseudo randomly staged selection process. They were all there; The token gay ensemble, the quirky non –conformists, the ordinary blokes, the suntanned and leggy potential wags, the socially awkward, the irritating shouty ones and the disabled one to show that channel 4 values diversity.

The programme is what it is and these contestants are all looking for a fast track to celebrity status and much of the public couldn’t give a hoot about the whole undertaking. However, amongst the flotsam and jetsam washed up at Chez Davina there was one wretch so overwhelmingly offensive to my sensitivities and sense of proportion that I almost expelled seven half digested German miniature biscuits across the room; it’s name; Shabby Katchadourian or, to use her own somewhat less self consciously wacky real name, Keeley Katchadourian.

This obnoxious individual is best described as a Charlie Chaplin look-a- like who is precocious with a capital Prick, deliberately zany and a right pain in the arse trustafarian ’alternative’ film maker and poet! She doesn’t believe in working and bounces around like Tigger in a cynical attempt to portray herself as ‘out there’.

This is exactly the type of person who should be tarred & feathered and run out of town.

Official Info on this ludicrous popinjay reads:

‘The 24-year-old moved to London when she was 17. A film-maker, she now lives in a squat. Shabby wants to portray squatters in a different light and has a shoot planned with Italian Vogue.’

This wretched attention seeking oaf clearly has ideas below most peoples station and is exactly the sort of character that I would , in a Matrix type world, happily reach into the TV screen and slap firmly about the face with a wasabi dipped Mackerel.

In case you may have may have missed the subtle point I'm making; I hate people like her!

Using a stupid TV show to make money and get attention from the members of the public who care about these matters is one thing, but being a dirty great show off is appalling.

Shabby, you are a prime example of the inequities of the class system, you have no value system other than self publicity,you are a parasite and a hideous cross between a mime artist and a Rik Mayall, circa Young ones, impressionist. I hope that the public spurn you as they would spurn a rabid dog!

This is why BB has come to an end. Ordinary wannabes weren't enough, they had to encourage the obnoxious as well as the ordinary.

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