LISTENING KILLS

Don't be fooled by "them". As a group them want to alienate and judge, them want to marginalise and create division

Don't place any great stock in "they", they have a lot to say and they say it loudly whilst drawing the most attention to themselves.

Don't listen to "apparently" because apparently can never be trusted as far as the truth is concerned.

Beware of "I Heard", I heard usually means from a source ten times removed.

Ignore "No offence" no offence generally means, "I am going to offend you". No offence says "I'm going to say something unpalatable

Say no to "can I get?" because it is a question that is an Americanism we should not put up with. You can't get, you can ask "may I have?" got it?

Don't tolerate "like". Like is the new "erm", it's infiltrated all forms of verbal communication, it's insidious and above all annoying in it's repetition. It may be America's worst ever import and it's been absorbed into the collective psyche to such an extent I find myself bombarded with "like" on a daily basis. Overheard conversations are now punctuated by "likes" that, once heard, gnaw away at you as if an avaricious rodent

Language is beautiful, florid and allows us to communicate all sorts of ideas and emotions so let's not allow it to be hijacked by blunt and lazy vocabulary that makes us dumber rather than more expansive.

MAXIMUM PLEASURE GUARANTEED

 

It is seldom that there is a TV show that surprises me. I am often told that I can always tell what is going to happen. Maybe that's due to exposure to many shows where the obvious is blindingly obvious.

A  notable exception to the rule is Maximum Pleasure Guaranteed currently showing on Apple TV. Episode seven aired yesterday and I am enjoying the weekly nature of the show as rather than binging it one has to wait a week to catch up with events.

The title is somewhat misleading, but that's a good thing as it leads the viewer down one path only to be diverted at a number of crossroads.

The lead character is remarkably human and is struggling with the day to day through various means. Her ex husband is played with great obnoxiousness (if that's a word) as a bitter ex-partner and his new wife is exactly the type of too nice and understanding to be true, you would expect.

The Lead detective is unlike any lead detective we've seen before and the villain of the piece is splendidly psychotic. But, and here's the thing, everything is not exactly what it seems.

I won't give too much way as I am hopeful that you will start watching this remarkably entertaining show.

It's strength is it's character development within the unfolding circumstances. Yes, there is a big slice of suspension of disbelief in how things unravel, but that was good enough for Hitchcock.

Bring up a child, Gen Z co workers, sex workers and mysterious conspirators all play a part in weaving this twisty tale and the way in which those characters are written makes them very much three dimensional

In a strong year for streaming shows including The Beauty, Margo's Got Money Troubles, Cape Fear, A Thousand Blows, Alien Earth, Beef, Legends, Spider Noir, The Boys, Maximum Pleasure Guaranteed is the most suprising. I highly recommend that you watch it, but, a word of caution, "trust no one"

BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY

 

Keir Starmer's resignation is one of those moments that will be reflected on in the future and commented on with the words "why?

It's a clear case of misinformation and rhetoric that, if said loudly and frequently enough, seeps into the nations consciousness as fact, when it clearly isn't.

Starmer's tenure when analysed dispassionately was not a disaster as the right leaning media voices are saying it was. In fact after years and years of Conservative government having their palms greased by millionaires the country was in a precarious state; which in turn has lead to the slow rise of the right.

Starmer had an uphill struggle but all the negativity fed to the populace just does not match up to reality.

The witch hunt of Angela Rayner pretty much sums up the bias and bile directed at the government and maybe Starmer has just had enough. What is clear is that we, the British public cannot allow this moment to be used as propaganda by Farage and his despicable minions, we need to stop them by any means necessary 

Driving out Labour PM's is a pastime it seems and if one looks deeper it is clear why.

Whoever takes the helm in the shorter turn will need very thick skin as I can see no let up in the press, social media and TV in wanting a right wing government in power as it benefits the rich who pull the strings.

HAPPY DAZE

 

To be happy is a good thing isn't it? But what does it actually mean? Yes family and friends are the greatest paths to happiness but there are other intangibles

An empty cinema in the afternoon -The joy of solitude, the lack of rustling of snack packets, the absence of phone screens piercing the darkness, none of the irritating talking. Pure bliss

Sunshine - the heat on your skin, the warm air and bright sky

Roast Chicken - Succulent, crispy, moreish

A glass of Ale - Forget your lagers and your ciders, a mouthful of ale refreshes the parts other drinks cannot reach

New socks - A fresh pair of Paul Smith socks on your showered and dried feet feels like slipping into a warm foot bath.

Finishing a good book - When you have turned the last page and close the book that you have spent a good while absorbing yourself into, that feeling of completion and satisfaction (preferably on holiday)

Fresh sheets - Its remarkable that the freshness of the sheet can bring such pleasure, crisp and cool to the touch

The 39 Steps (1935) - Hitchcock's spy caper is a rollicking yarn that is a pure joy from beginning to end. I watch it at least twice a year and it always makes me happy

The Arsenal - Win, lose or draw The Arsenal is not only a football club it's a common love, its a shared experience, and when The Arsenal win a warm glow lingers and a sense of pride and belonging takes hold. It's remarkable how an entity can bring such joy. 

Sitting in the shade of a tree - This pastime takes you away from things for a while. A chance to relax, look up at the clouds and feel the cool earth beneath you; highly recommended as a diversion from getting work done.

I'm sure everyone has their own list of things that make them happy, and each list willl be different. My advice, dear reader, is to stop whatever you are doing and go and do sometrhimng that makes you happy. Go on, do it now, you know it makes sense.

DON'T DAWDLE

 

Dawdling, this is something that drives me to distraction. Some days it seems as if everybody is at it. They get in my way, they dwell at doorways, dither at the till, they prevaricate at the cashpoint, they block the escalators, and they wander at the way in.

The Dawdler is in sharp contrast to the overactive spindly addict dashing to get their next fix like Usain Bolt on roller skates; the Tortoise and the Hare springs to mind.

Is dawdling a result of being in one’s own world? Be it the headphones or the loud mobile phone conversation, there has to be a reason for, this now, common high street scenario.

I remember in my earlier years walking down a crowded Oxford Street with the throng all seeming to know where they were going. Yes, you would get the odd bad pedestrian who would suddenly and sharply hit the brakes leading to collision, but by and large dawdling was at a minimum.

People looked where they were going, they listened, they paid attention to their surroundings, whereas now it’s all about the internal self rather than the world outside.

The bar dawdler is another creature that needs to face extinction. They get in the way of thirsty customers and try the patience of beleaguered bar staff, it shouldn't be too hard to choose a drink and order it without going through a complete list of the drinks available, or make a choice between Cheese & Onion and Salt and vinegar crisps or pork scratchings.

Mind you, this infuriating craze that has taken the pub world by storm of queuing up should be ridden out of town. It's pointless and actually makes bar staff work harder. Don't be a queuer.

I saw a clip on social media of a new trend in which idiotic attention seekers stand at the bottom of escalators blocking their fellow travellers way.This is moronic, dangerous and just plain annoying. Dawdling turned into performative nonsense.

Just remember, don't dawdle people, its not clever and its not funny.

PEACE

All I want is a bit of peace, that’s all, not too much to ask for is it

I’m talking about peace and quiet, that all too rare commodity in today’s world. We, as a culture, have been bombarded with sound. All day, every day we are aurally assaulted by sounds that actually have no relevance to us, sounds that infringe on our tranquil state.

On small screens there are commercials that always seem much louder than the programme that you are watching. YouTube has commercials popping up at an increasingly rapid rate. If you don’t want these constant interruptions you can pay to go “ad free”, yes pay for not having to listen to things that you have not asked to hear.

There are other sounds that are inflicted upon our unsuspecting lug holes such as the loud music played from passing cars. It is an immutable law that the volume of the music blasting out of a vehicle is inversely proportionate to the quality of the music, its never Bowie or Stevie Wonder or Miles Davis or Mozart, is it?

Beef is another decibel distraction. When I say “beef” I will point you to the Urban Dictionary: "beef" refers to a dispute, a grudge, or a prolonged argument between two or more people. Having a loud beefing session over the phone is now as ubiquitous as the sound of fireworks on November 5th. Why people feel the need to have beef -ups so publicly is beyond me. I think it’s probably the belief that if you lead a quiet life, you aren’t Instagram worthy or something like that.

To paraphrase the title of one of the great Hammer Horror films Cheap Headphones And Ear Buds Must Be Destroyed! If I want to hear the high-pitched buzzing from the hearing device of a commuter listening to MC Shizzle Boink featuring DJ Thrust, I’d put my head in a wasp’s nest as it would be far less painful.

Having just been on holiday I have had a taste of the quiet life. The joy of silence, the pleasure of peace, the thrill of tranquillity, the ability to do and say nothing, that we take for granted are amplified when you have a break from the chaos of the City’ aural experience.

The modern obsession is to fill in silences for the sake of it. Never has the saying “if you have nothing to say don’t say anything” been more appropriate.

My advice gentle reader is to find some time for silence, some time to simply sit in peace and quiet and reset your brain. There’s plenty of time for noise, plenty of time for music , plenty of time for discourse and not enough time for silence, unless you make the time.