SPIN OFF/OFF TARGET

From multi-layered and groundbreaking Hill Street to Sunny and lightweight California

The world of the TV Spin off, and for every Frasier or Rhoda there are abominations commissioned on the back of successful TV series. It seems, however, that some of the very best shows have spawned truly awful televisual children. Yes that includes such classics as Hill Street Blues, Cheers, Friends and MASH. Look on these works and beware.

The Tortellis-Cheers Spin off

Beverly Hills Buntz-Hill Street Blues Spin Off

 Fish-Barney Miller Spin off

After MASH-MASH Spin off

Joey-Friends Spin off

And yes we Brits aren't immune from such cock ups. Witness the hazards of spinning off from such classics as Only Fools and Horses and Porridge.

The Green Green Grass-Only Fools and Horses Spin off

Going Straight-Porridge Spin off

Of course Happy Days is remembered fondly even though it wasn't one of the best of shows. It produced it's own Black Sheep in the form of Joanie loves Chachi, Laverne & Shirley and Mork & Mindy: all equally mediocre, but they topped even this with a couple of other exceptionally poor efforts.

Out Of The Blue-Happy Days Spin off

Blansky's Beauties-Happy Days Spin off

Which brings us back to the wonderful Hill Street Blues, and how about this for a flagrant selling on of the brand? The Baseball series Bay City Blues, which has nothing to do with Police procedurals, but has a cast of Ex Hill Street Bluers and a young (ish) Sharon Stone.

Bay City Blues

UNORIGINAL GANGSTERS

 The Real Mickey Cohen

Just stepped out of Gangster Squad: First ¾ was pretty much 'kinda like' The Untouchables, the last ¼ turned into The Matrix meets Lethal Weapon.

Bit like a time warp in fact, the trailers before the movie were for the new Stallone & new Schwarzenegger movies.

On telling one of my esteemed friends his response was:

“Saw it last night. Bugsy Malone meets Dick Tracy”

ANIMAL KINGDOM

Animal Kingdom is an Australian movie from 2010 set in the criminal world of suburban Melbourne. The focus of the story is on 17 year old Josh and his involvement with his criminal family headed by matriarch, and his Grandmother, Janine played by Jackie Weaver. James Frecheville plays Josh with a sense of detachment from his circumstances and the environment he finds himself in following the drug induced death of his mother.

Ben Mendelsohn plays psychotic uncle Pope with real believability and he shows Josh the reality of the family’s life of crime that Janine oversees beatifically.



Guy Pearce also features as an uncorrupted Police Officer who tries to do the right by thing by Josh, despite corrupt fellow officers and intimidating family members.Everything is underplayed and this creates an observational viewpoint that allows an amost voyeuristic appreciation as the story unfolds.

If this movie was set in Boston and starred a Hollywood A-lister it would be more widely appreciated. As it is this movie is a well executed and naturalistic slice of the realities of grubby crime, grubby families and amoral family leaders.

 

 

THE WIRE 100 QUOTES

 

With so much to look forward to on TV in 2013 such as the (probably) final Season of Mad Men, a new series of Luther, The Following, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Veep, Sherlock, Nurse Jackie, Breaking Bad, Homeland and Girls here's a timely reminder of one of the Holy Trinity of TV (MadMenSopranosWire): 100 Quotes from The Wire.

DRINK WHEN YOU'RE LOSING

British telecom were successful in their bid to televise live English Premier League football, this in effect means that BT are taking over ESPN's position as joint provider of Premier League football coverage for Three Seasons starting with 2013/14 season. The deal? £1.01Billion a season for 3 years.

It's clear what that means for clubs, players, agents and Luxury goods stores but what does it mean to supporters? My guess: higher subscription rates for TV packages and as season ticket prices will continue to rise those that can't afford their season ticket will probably not be able to afford SKY/BT packages. The result? Pubs full on match days & half empty stadiums.  

There is already a growing trend of empty seats on match days and the full pubs that would empty ten minutes before kick off remain full for the duration of the game. The average supporter, regardless of if they own a season ticket, is turning to alternative ways of watching the game. Already, with foreign satellite feeds, games can be watched that are supposedly not available for broadcast if you know the right Pub. Often it is cheaper to go to the local pub and have a few drinks than the cost of travel and refreshments at the ground, even if you have a ticket. Season tickets are a source of income for a number of people who can get a good price for their seat on a fixture they can’t attend or don’t want to.

It is more than just pure economics; it’s a reaction to the cynical and bloated nature of the game. The customer formally known as supporter can only be squeezed so far and the unquestioned loyalty that clubs feed on cannot be taken for granted: you can’t get blood from a stone.

So stadiums with swathes of empty seats and full public houses could be the face of the Premier League in the 2013/14 season. The nations game, the working man’s game could become the sole province of Corporate boxes, Match day packages and tourists. That’s what happens when you price out the lifeblood of the game. Those men and women who make a lifelong commitment to a club and are there through thick and thin are being gradually marginalised by unbelievable and unethical pricing structures and for a long time the clubs and the Premier League have got away with it. That is changing, which I can vouch for from my own match day experience, and it will escalate. Non-attendance will be the result and at the moment the clubs aren’t overly worried about that, after all they get the Lion’s share at the start of the season through Season Ticket renewals. As long as they have a full stadium on paper they can rely on the corporate money from executive boxes and match-day packages and peripherals, such as Pop concerts and International friendlies to generate income. In theory the top clubs can afford to play matches in half empty stadiums for a considerable period before making changes.

So, pubs full with supporters and stadiums half full with customers: that’s the future for the gluttony game.

WAITER THERE'S A FLY IN MY TELEVISUAL SOUP

BBC SATURDAY KITCHEN is an attempt at rebranding TV Cooking as a Top Gear type endeavour slash Guardian Reader style magazine programme. It tries to be 'Blokey' and edgy with terms like "Dive in", "that's amazing" and going on about how tough cooking is, at the same time it tries to appeal to Yummy Mummies and foodies. It has the enthusiastic Wine expert and the minor celebrity guests with themed segments: each more excrutaitingly duller than the preceding one.

To say it has all the appeal of Tapioca is to damn tapioca with faint praise. The popularity of the show can only be put down to it being the only alternative to Saturday morning Sports TV. Even so it is so bland that it makes The One Show look like Brass Eye.

Obviously the producers opened a variety of recipe books and mixed the contents together to try and create something innovative yet comfortable for the target audience (I can only assume that they narrowed it down to people with heads). With neither style working they managed to conjure up a wafer thin concoction that is unpalatable, has no bite and irritates like a half digested Suet pudding.

MY HIT LIST-NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN

With the recent 50^th anniversary and celebration of all things Bond the black sheep of the family is worth a revisit. I’m talking about Never Say Never again: the other unofficial Bond movie if you include 1967’s Casino Royale

Never Say Never Again manages to assemble one of the best casts of any of the official Bond movies.
 
The director of The Empire Strikes Back Irvin Kershner directs this updated version of Thunderball starring Sean Connery, who is of course the definitive 007.

Max von Sydow (complete with white Cat) as the shadowy head of an international crime cartel, Claus Maria Brandauer is the villain of the piece  Kim Basinger features as good Bond girl and Barbara Carrera as bikini & fur clad bad girl Fatima Blush. Edward Fox is an inspired choice as M and minor generic roles are played by stalwarts of British cinema in the form of the tough Pat Roach and the gorgeous Valeria Leon. It even features Rowan Atkinson as comic relief.
 
The movie is as innuendo filled as the Roger Moore output without the sleaze that Moore bought to the part.
 
The famous Bond car is replaced by a Bond Motor Bike and the theme tune is not bad at all.

We are treated to gadgets on land, sea and air and exotic locales including a Casino, where a very much of the time computer game takes the place of a card game as the focus of a head to head between Bond and the Villain.

It has all the ingredients required and if its a little bit lacking in real quality at times it is a film that certainly has a great sense of fun with the whole Bondian conventions without being cartoonish, as the Roger Moore outings were. The Film even ends with Connery delivering a knowing wink to the audience.

One criticism is that it gives us the unedifying sight of James Bond in Dungarees: never wear them again please James.



 

YOLO PERIL



Some Shy & retiring types in Kavos

 

“I’m fairly certain that YOLO is just Carpe Diem for stupid people”-Jack Black

 

'Investigator' Stacy Dooley talks to the Magaluf locals

 

Two of our terrestrial channels broadcast programmes about young British people going ‘crazy’ in Spain and Greece on the same night this week. The titles of these, supposedly revealing, documentaries were The Truth About Magaluf and What Happens In Kavos. Both were utterly appalling and free of irony. What they showed was akin to a painting by Heironymous Bosch.

A swathe of generic young people, both male and female, with manicured eyebrows and fake tans descending locust like on the bars and clubs of Magaluf and Kavos. Individuality left at home replaced by aspirations to be Z-list celebrities. There role models? Geordie Shire and TOWIE: the ubiquitous shorthand speak for The Only Way Is Essex.

 

An example of the inane from another BBC 3 Documentary

They produce sound bites about how hard it is for young people today, that there are no jobs and there is a recession. Their only respite is to go berserk in Mediterranean resorts and vomit every night for a fortnight. My generation said the same thing when I was a similar age but the difference is that my generation wanted to get up and do stuff: formed band, get into writing, designing, creating and generally sought inspiration rather than regurgitation.

The Voice of a generation speaks

 

They spout the mantra "YOLO!" (You Only Live Once) as a pack of braying donkeys, oblivious to the irony of this call to arms.

Swathed in uniformity they embark on a nauseating and frankly embarrassing spree of over indulgence with scant regards for the locals, culture and propriety or indeed their own health. Their degradation in the full public glare is an orgy of unseemly and dangerous showing off. They quaff plastic buckets of cheap alcohol like pigs at a trough; engage in random sex with random stereotypes before stumbling to the self created squalor of hotel rooms, their early hour’s antics often leading to rape, theft, sexual infection and death.

It's not hedonism it's gluttony

I can just see Gideon and Bella smugly dreaming up ways to exterminate all rational thought through exploitative TV Docusoaps aimed at the unschooled underclasses as they sit in the comfort of their new media offices in Dalston sipping seaweed Frapuccinos and munching on the latest ecologically sound vegetable purée seasoned with Cockroach stock which they had delivered by Unicycle from Stepney.

It's the Roman gentry watching the gladiators and geeks, yet
some might say, "they're only having a bit of fun", well maybe the Luftwaffe were having a bit if fun when they went on a bombing raid: they still did a hell of a lot of damage though.

Links to both:

http://www.channel4.com/programmes/what-happens-in-kavos

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/search?q=%22Stacey%20Dooley%22



GERRY ANDERSON MISCELLANY

Gerry Anderson's Sci-Fi movie-Doppleganger



 

At the end of last year the great Gerry Anderson passed away. Gerry's work needs no introduction to people of a certain age (like me) suffice it to say that Gerry Anderson's work played a huge part in my childhood. His work was inventive, exciting and above all inspiring. I covered his work in a past blog but here are some of his lesser known works, projects and examples of his tremendous contribution to TV and Cinema, proving that Gerry Anderson was diverse and creative outside of his most popular creations and series.

 

The Investigator

 

Dick Spanner PI

 

Space Precinct

 

Marina-French version

 

The Protectors

 

Firestorm

 

The day after tommorow AKA Into infinity

 

Lavender Castle

 

Gerry & Sylvia Anderson

 

with acknowledgement to: http://www.fanderson.org.uk



 

THINGS AREN'T ALWAYS WHAT THEY SEEM

SUB CULTURES CAPTURED

James Moffat wrote a series of Pulp novels under the pseudonym Richard Allen, they were an attempt to capture the British Working Class sub-cultures of the late sixties and seventies. They are an interesting attempt to give the reader a glimpse into the world depicted. These books were also effective in getting ordinary kids into reading. The covers are good examples of direct marketing and are decidedly down at heel. While Politically suspect at times, these books make for a diverting historical snapshot.

Skinhead farewell-TV Doc

Boot Boys

Demo

Dragon Skins

Knuckle Girls

Mod Rule

Glam

Punk Rock

Skinhead

Skinhead Escapes

Skinhead Farewell

Skinhead Girls

Smoothies

Sorts

Suedehead

Teeny Bopper Idol

Terrace Terrors

Top-Gear For Skinhead

Trouble For Skinhead (originally to be titled Skinhead In Trouble)