WAITER THERE'S A FLY IN MY TELEVISUAL SOUP

BBC SATURDAY KITCHEN is an attempt at rebranding TV Cooking as a Top Gear type endeavour slash Guardian Reader style magazine programme. It tries to be 'Blokey' and edgy with terms like "Dive in", "that's amazing" and going on about how tough cooking is, at the same time it tries to appeal to Yummy Mummies and foodies. It has the enthusiastic Wine expert and the minor celebrity guests with themed segments: each more excrutaitingly duller than the preceding one.

To say it has all the appeal of Tapioca is to damn tapioca with faint praise. The popularity of the show can only be put down to it being the only alternative to Saturday morning Sports TV. Even so it is so bland that it makes The One Show look like Brass Eye.

Obviously the producers opened a variety of recipe books and mixed the contents together to try and create something innovative yet comfortable for the target audience (I can only assume that they narrowed it down to people with heads). With neither style working they managed to conjure up a wafer thin concoction that is unpalatable, has no bite and irritates like a half digested Suet pudding.