CRINGE CORNER: KNOCK OFF NIGEL

Much as I begrudge no one the right to make a living as they see fit, I do wonder how the creative masterminds behind the Knock off Nigel public information campaign were able to show their faces in the office the day after the first infomercial was shown that they thought would have pirates everywhere quaking in their boots.

Surely they didn't think that the jaunty KON song and the sub standard 'serious message'  performances that made Eastenders look like Harold Pinter would dissuade an economically strapped Joe Public from buying the occasional item fresh from the back of a ubiquitous lorry. The man or woman who signed off on this woefully inept campaign must surely have been called into a glass and steel office on the 23rd floor and given a hefty reprimand.

Excruciating doesn't come into it. When it comes to trying to remind the populace to not break the law a message keeping it simple is generally the way to go. Creating an insipid character flaw and calling it Nigel whilst giving him an embarrassing theme tune is one of the worst ideas since sliced bread. No one, but no one was dissuaded from buying less than legal items by various Nigels' exploits.

Perhaps a real criminal could have been hired as an adviser so that this ineffectual campaign that obviously cost hundreds of thousands wasn't money that vanished down the plug hole.

The Legend:

“Knock off Nigel: He's the type of man who does things on the cheap/He gave his girlfriend a watch that he found in the street/He buys knock-off DVDs from a rotten old Gran/He scrounges his drinks, what a grubby little man/HE'S A KNOCK-OFF NIGEL, HE'S A KNOCK-OFF NIGEL/HE'S A KNOCK-OFF NIGEL, HE'S A KNOCK-OFF NIGEL/KNOCK-OFF NIGEL BUYS KNOCK-OFF DVDs!"