Behind bars

A writer friend of mine, with great talent I must point out, got me thinking about Prison in the movies. I like the Genre and these films come in many guises. The setting and dynamics of prison life make for stories rooted in man's humanity, and inhumanity.Here is a selection of ten of my favourites each with a different take on the Genre some dark some light and some grey.

The Shawshank Redemption ”Put your trust in the Lord; your ass belongs to me. Welcome to Shawshank.” Warden Samuel Norton


Cool Hand Luke ”Sometimes nothin’ is a real cool hand.” Luke Jackson

Birdman of Alcatraz ” Robert Stroud's petition for parole has been denied annually for 24 years. Age 72, he is now in his 53rd year of imprisonment.” Narrator

Papillon ”Hey, you bastards, I'm still here!” Papillon

The Great Escape ”Are all American officers so ill-mannered?” - Yeah, about 99%.” Hiltz

Stalag 17 “I'm tellin' ya, Animal, these Nazis ain't kosher.” Shapiro

The Count of Monte Cristo ”God is never in France this time of year.” Jailer

Murder in the First ”I was the weapon, but I ain’t no killer.” Henri Young

Dead Man Walking ” Thank you. I've never been called a “son of God” before.” Mathew Poncelet

Midnight Express ”… everyone runs around stabbing everyone else in the ass. That's what they call Turkish revenge.” Billy Hayes

TVs Hidden Gems #2 Prospects

Prospects is a British television drama series that was written by Alan Janes and originally shown on Channel 4 in 1986. Created by Euston Films who had a pedigree of producing successful, gritty drama such as The Sweeney and Minder, it followed the exploits of two East End characters - Jimmy 'Pincey' Pince played by the late Gary Olsen and Billy played by Brian Bovell and their trials and tribulations of making a living in London's Isle of Dogs.
Comprising 12 episodes Prospects - with a comic slant, dealt with many of the major issues affecting British society at the height of the "Thatcherite" '80's including unemployment, crime, poverty, regeneration, social change and racism.
Prospects gained a cult following and ratings wise it performed well above expectation for Channel 4 and was moved to a 9pm prime-time repeat slot on ITV in the Spring/Summer of 1987. This fuelled rumours that the network wanted to develop Prospects into a long-running comedy drama series. However despite seeing potential ITV declined the opportunity to develop it beyond the original first series.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P77140cYKu4


It ended with a double episode that left me wanting to know what happens to our two protagonists and I will always fondly remember it. Yes it is dated but it does conjure up a certain time and place.

American The Bill Hicks story

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GaUvt81gH9c

I await this film with great anticipation. For those who are unaware of Bill Hicks work this is a chance to find out more about a real comedy genius. An often used word but never truer than in Bill's case.

Rather than go on about him I would hope that this movie reignites an interest in Bill and wins new fans. There is a small amount of DVD/Video of him but a number of books and albums give an insight into the man. Bill Hicks hero.

Political insight

So another election passes, the funny thing is that most of the population always cast their vote based on this political insight. Time passes but the headlines more or less stay the same.

ELECTION DAY

"Vote for me, and all your wildest dreams will come true"

Why Vote for Pedro Today?
Well, he has a sweet bike. And he's really good at hooking up with chicks. Plus he's like the only guy at school who has a mustache.

Do the right thing and;

TVs Hidden gems # 1 Buried

Lee Kingley (Lennie James),is a new inmate at HMP Mandrakewho has been sentenced to ten years for GBH and a firearms offence. This brings us into the UK prison world in a murky and enthralling drama series from Channel 4. Little seen but excellently acted by all concerned. It shows Lee's journey from novice to leader and back to inmate status with an undeniably dark ending. The best compliment I can make is that this woulds sit nicely in the HBO catalogue.

http://www.youtube.com/show/buried?pl=D69BAF6F6F2D0D0C
Available here

"This is what I do"

An old piece of Youtube magic popped up today. Holly Jervis; comedic marvel as seen in the appalling X-Factor

Holly Jervis; delusional, untalented bad attitude and ridiculous self belief, yes that’s all true but so are most of the twerps who appear on the synthetic celebrity sluice that is X factor.

What I love about Holly is her ability to come across like a fully realized and scripted character. You can completely get her back story from her brief appearance. The Holly Jervis character could have stepped out of a Chris Morris spoof expose on the talent show world.

She proclaims, somewhat in the manner of David Brent: “I want people to hear me sing and not just at hotels, weddings or at holiday parks. It’s my time. My voice is big, it’s powerful and I don’t look like the kind of person that would have that voice. It’s time to show that off. I want to surprise people. I want this. This is what I am made to do and I’m here to prove it”.
“I want to stand on a stage and have an audience look at me and say yes, she’s different, she’s got something – that X Factor”.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7R0N3zInns

Producers thought she was so bad she could be worth a slot on the excruciating X-Factor tour. But she is ignoring their calls.
An insider said: "She was genuinely devastated so she won't even pick up the phone."

It’s not really a case of her being a bad singer; the show is full of them. It’s more about her comments and delusional attitude. Failing an audition on a show as transparently uncreditable as X-Factor is no big deal after all.

This is a genuinely funny piece of video and Holly is complemented by the comments made by Cheryl Cole (or is that now Tweedy?)

“You should try preaching or speeching”

Simon Cowell, he of the scripted barb, also remarks that her mouth is like looking into a cave.

I want to know what Holly is doing now, is she still pursuing her dream at Butlins and Pontins? Has she become a cult figure or has she turned into a broken woman? I hope not, I want to see more of Holly. Comedy gold like hers doesn’t come along that often

My Double bills # 11 the Movie that begat the musical that begat the Movie

The Producers (Mel Brooks 1968) & Hairspray (John Waters 1988)

Two movies chock full of odd balls and sleazy characters with an underlying message of racial tolerance. One set in 60’s New York amid Flower power, Broadway and pigeon lofts the other on the segregated streets of Baltimore. What are you talking about? You may say if you are only accustomed to the awful remakes that were spawned by Broadway success.

The originals, particularly The Producers, are funny yet unambiguous in their intent. Max Bialystok is the Devil to Leo Bloom’s naïve. A philandering womaniser, who takes money from old women and hatches a scheme with Bloom to produce a Musical about Hitler, In Baltimore Tracey Turnblatt tries to turn the tables on High School popularity and embrace desegregation, her family are a set of off kilter characters and in the hands of director; The Pope of sleaze John Waters we are presented with a good over evil tale. Mel Brooks began his creative period with the Producers (after the hit and miss 12 Chairs) this was followed by Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein, High Anxiety and Silent movie.

The Producers is so good because of it’s criminal and moral undertones. It is also just plain funny. Springtime for Hitler is genuinely Genius and the casting is spot on.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCNjOBzg8tc

Hairspray is John Walters most mainstream film and was followed by Cry Baby and Serial Mom and gave him popular acceptance. It still has the sleazoid factor though. Not to mentiona great soundtrack
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdKTHL0PMGw

Both movies are radical in the way the humour is used and The Producers is something of a blue print for those that followed. What is interesting is that if you watch either film and then peek at the newer versions the sterility is obvious. The commercialism of the new versions is ingrained throughout. Funny? no Risky? no...that was kind of the point though

Crutches on the streets of London

Not being a resident of Camden, I do have professional reason to visit the fair borough. I have noticed something that is becoming a bit of an epidemic; Crutches.

People with crutches everywhere you turn! Now I'm pretty sure that there has not been an outbreak of landmines in NW1 so what is the possible explanation of this phenomenon?

Could it be due to falling over while drunk? falling over while stoned? breaking a leg while climbing over a neighbours garden wall in the middle of the night? caused while bailing out of a stolen car? messing up your veins by shooting narcotics into your groin? running away from the police? due to trying to remove an ankle tag using bolt cutters? caused by burning your leg on the exhaust pipe of a stolen moped?being bitten by Keyser your pet 'Staffie'? Dropping a bottle of White lightning on your foot? or just plain laziness?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tOyEyBdfgac

Who knows why the Crutch has become the new Burberry cap, maybe it's just a fashion statement or street credibility thing (I'm only half joking here) but , what was once the exclusive property of the broken legged, has now become a regular sight on the streets. I wouldn't be suprised if ITV 2 launch a new weekend show 'Dancing on Crutches' to appeal to this market.

Go on, next time you re down town have a look; I bet you will notice the 'Crutchies' now!

My Double bills # 10 Young Frankenstein & Love and Death

Unequivocally in my all time list of comedies these two movies have their share of physical humour but I love the dialogue; eminently quotable and stands the test of time. Both films parody serious genre to excellent effect. Rather than me blathering on here's some examples of the witty dialogue delivered to perfection in both movies.

Young Frankenstein

Igor: You know, I'll never forget my old dad. When these things would happen to him... the things he'd say to me.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: What did he say?
Igor: "What the hell are you doing in the bathroom day and night? Why don't you get out of there and give someone else a chance?"

[following Igor's botched attempt to interpret Dr. Frankenstein's charade clues while being attacked by the monster]
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: SEDA-GIVE?

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [to Igor] Now that brain that you gave me. Was it Hans Delbruck's?
Igor: [pause, then] No.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Ah! Very good. Would you mind telling me whose brain I DID put in?
Igor: Then you won't be angry?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: I will NOT be angry.
Igor: Abby Someone.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [pause, then] Abby Someone. Abby who?
Igor: Abby Normal.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [pause, then] Abby Normal?
Igor: I'm almost sure that was the name.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [chuckles, then] Are you saying that I put an abnormal brain into a seven and a half foot long, fifty-four inch wide GORILLA?
[grabs Igor and starts throttling him]
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Is that what you're telling me?

Love and death

Sonja: Judgment of any system, or a priori relationship or phenomenon exists in an irrational, or metaphysical, or at least epistemological contradiction to an abstract empirical concept such as being, or to be, or to occur in the thing itself, or of the thing itself.

Boris: Yes, I've said that many times.

Anton: If you so much as come near the Countess, I'll see that you never see the light of day again.
Boris: If a man said that to me, I'd break his neck.
Anton: *I* am a man.
Boris: Well, I mean a much shorter man.

Napoleon: This is an honor for me.
Boris: No, it's a greater honor for me.
Napoleon: No, a greater honor for me.
Boris: No, it's a greater honor for me.
Napoleon: No, a greater honor for ME.
Boris: Well, perhaps you're right. Perhaps it IS a greater honor for you.
Napoleon: And you must be Don Francisco's sister.
Sonja: No, you must be Don Francisco's sister.
Napoleon: No, you must be Don Francisco's sister.
Sonja: No, you must be Don Francisco's sister.
Boris: No, it's a greater honor for me.
Napoleon: I see our Spanish guests have a sense of humor.
Boris: She's a great kidder.
Sonja: No, you're a great kidder.
Boris: No, you're Don Francisco's sister.

Sonja: He kissed me.
Boris: Any place I should know about?
Sonja: He warmed the cockles of my heart.
Boris: That's just great. Nothing like hot cockles

Child care less

Childcare. Caring for children of others should be a task best managed with the support and assistance of parents however some parents believe that childcare absolves them of any level of personal responsibility. For example a parent is late collecting their child so are phoned by the childcare provider; Parent-“Oh, sorry I didn’t call but I’ve got no credits on my phone”
Well you have a child so make sure you have enough credit!
Another parent is late: Parent-“Oh, I’ve been at a job interview”
Then let us know in advance so your child is not worried!
And another; “it’s only ten minutes”
Ten minutes, ten hours, late is late!
The point is that some parents feel that their responsibilities end when the child is out of their sight.
The ‘it’s not my responsibility/fault/problem’ attitude is at an all time high. Having a child is fundamentally the greatest responsibility a human undertakes. Some feel it’s harder owning a dog than having a child . Dogs have to be taken out and won’t just sit in front of the TV. Dogs need to be shouted at to comply whereas children don’t always respond to raised voices. You can leave a dog in the house on its own all day….
I actually overhead someone say “It’s easier having a kid than owning this bleedin’ dog”.