SHOW ME THE FUNNY

 

 I was feeling a little jaded today and a funny quote popped into my head, its from Jerry Lewis' the Nutty Professor;

Gym Attendant: "Are you hurt?"

Professor Julius Kelp: "Well, if a man with an ulcer and a splinter in his finger and a nail in his foot was then struck by lightning, if you could say that man was not hurt then yes you could say I'm not hurt”-The Nutty Professor 

With funny quotes from some of my favourite films in mind, here are some funny quotes from some of my favourite films. enjoy

Dr Hirsch:“I’ve survived Rommel so I’m sure I can survive another excruciating evening with Rodger Matheson”-An American Werewolf In London

Boris Grushenko: “You have the temerity to say that I'm talking to you out of jejunosity?-Love & Death

Bluto: “Over? Did you say “over”? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!”

Otter: “Germans?”

Boon: “Forget it, he’s rolling.”-National Lampoons Animal House

Inga: “Werewolf!”

Dr. Frankenstein: “Werewolf?”

Igor: “There.”

Dr. Frankenstein: “What?”

Igor: [pointing] “There... wolf. There... castle.”

Dr. Frankenstein: “Why are you talking that way?”

Igor: “I thought you wanted to.”

Dr. Frankenstein: “No, I don't want to.”

Igor: “Suit yourself. I'm easy.”-Young Frankenstein

Kitty : “I was reading a book the other day.”

Carlotta : [Nearly trips]  “Reading a book?”

Kitty : “Yes. It's all about civilization or something. A nutty kind of a book. Do you know that the guy says that machinery is going to take the place of every profession?”

Carlotta : [Looking her over] “Oh, my dear, that's something you need never worry about.”-Dinner At Eight

Rufus T. Firefly : “Gentlemen, Chicolini here may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.”-Duck Soup

Faisal: "I've got this plan right? I'm gonna put a bomb on a crow, then fly it into one of them towers filled with Jews and slags."-Four Lions

Dr Hfuhruhurr "There it is, darling. Your new home. The House of Hfuhruhurr."

Dolores Hfuhruhurr "What are those assholes doing on the porch?"

Dr Hfuhruhurr "Those aren't assholes. It's pronounced azaleas."-The Man with Two Brains

Danny: "I don't advise a haircut, man. All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. Hairs are your aerials. They pick up signals from the cosmos, and transmit them directly into you brain! This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight."-Withnail and I

Person: "I think it was 'Blessed are the cheesemakers."

Mrs. Gregory: "What's so special about the cheesemakers?"

Man: "Well, obviously it's not meant to be taken literally; it refers to any manufacturers of dairy products."-The Life Of Brian

Eliot Garfield: "You knocked?"

Paula McFadden: "May I speak to you in private for a moment?"

Elliot Garfield: "Well, it's a bad time how about at breakfast?"

Paula McFadden:"Is that a girl in there?"

Eliot Garfield: "I certainly hope so.-The Goodbye Girl

George Fields: "No, no, that's too limited... nobody in Hollywood wants to work with you either. I can't even set you up for a commercial. You played a tomato for 30 seconds - they went a half a day over schedule because you wouldn't sit down."-Tootsie

I'll finish with this quote from The Simpsons, a quote that sums up an approach to life that often feels like a genuine alternative to how things currently are!

Homer:“Marge, kids, everything’s going to be just fine. Now go upstairs and pack your bags. We’re going to start a new life under the sea”

Marge:“Homer, that’s your solution to everything; to move under the sea! It’s not going to happen!”

Homer:“Not with that attitude”-The Simpsons