Monday, 5 September 2011


ITV has become the epitome of televisual dross. The debris of a dumbed down creative avalanche of dreck. Those that criticise Channel 5 or the numerous satellite channels are barking up the wrong tree; these stations are operating on a shoe string in comparison to the Independent Television big wigs who decide what the public gets. The ststion looks awful from its idents through to its choice of font. As a TV station it is styled to look like an Aldi store. ITV beams low intellect mish mashes of ideas in the shape of Ant & Dec, X Factor and numerous programmes that are cheap to make and generate income from phones voting and texting; they are fifteen minute adverts on either side of three minute commercial breaks. The drama's that are broadcast on ITV are generally formulaic and by the book, quizzes are pointless and there is a proliferation of 'an audience with...' shows that bring us C list entertainers spending an hour promoting their new product. ITV brings us shoddy and unoriginal 'entertainment' by the shed load.
As awful as ITV 1 is ITV 2 is the flagship of inanity. It is literally the televisual equivalent of a KFC Bargain bucket. ITV2 seems to have been invented to promote the growth of stupidity. A team of low slung jean wearing graduates cherry pick tripe to broadcast. Reality TV is a sign of the times and floods the airwaves but ITV2 takes it to nauseating celebrity depths. When future generations want to understand what led to the apocalypse that is going to inevitably result from our cultural plummet, they need look no further than the opposite of that moment when the first fish crawled out of the ocean a, grew legs and starting walking; When Fearne Cotton met Peaches Geldof. This is the lowest point in ITV2's all time output, and trust me that is saying something. Charlie Brooker beautifully analysed this septic spectacle on screen wipe, succesfully capturing the sheer beastlieness of it all. If you listen carefully, when watching this debacle, you can hear a sound in the background; that's the sound of the Barbarian hordes on their way to Rome.

'look upon my works and despair'-ITV2 Commissioning editor
"like, spirituality and stuff"

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having said that;