FOR FORKS SAKE!

 

Sign of the tines

Having just returned from the sunny climes of Greece to the sunny climes of London I have cast my mind back, as you do, to the world of 'this time last week'. Many good memories of a very relaxing break on the lovely island of Rhodes, but one I keep coming back to, one conundrum witnessed daily and still hard to fathom. A mystery that I have no explanation for, a phenomenon that defies logic.

What is this outrage you may ask dear reader, well that's the thing; it sounds trivial, but it isn't.

It's the way in which people hold their forks. Yes, things have escalated in the cutlery gripping department to the extent that all sorts are cack handedly brandishing forks at mealtimes. I'm not talking about etiquette or any other ideas of what is acceptable in polite society. I'm talking about ugly forkage.

This is not a greek thing, everyone's at it! Our hotel contained representatives of a number of nations and almost uniformly there were representatives of the fork handing misfits society.

Some grips looked like the act of contortionists, others looked like Edward Scissorhands trying to button a shirt, while there were those who came across as playing invisible cat's cradle.

I assumed that we all learnt to use cutlery correctly as part of growing up as a standard piece of development. I always assumed that the most efficient, practical and comfortable way to spear food was via the standard method but I may have been wrong all these years.

This new way of eating comes across as a bit affected in it's impracticality at best, and wilfully bizarre at worst.

Next time you eat out have a look around and I bet you will see more and more manually challenged diners brandishing their eating utensil in the manner of a human octopus hybrid.