COVID QUARANTINE DECODED

Wakey! Wakey! Rise and shine! Another day dawns, and another, and another...well, you get the picture.

Life during lockdown is life on hold for the most part. Time to catch up on those films and box sets, those books you always meant to read, that film script/novel/play you thought you would never find time to write. Time to learn Cantonese, the Trumpet and how to bake sourdough. Time to work on your core and get all those jobs done around the house. time to see how long your hair can grow, how few showers you can take and how many hours you can go without an alcoholic drink.

And then what?

Just relaxing, taking it easy and enjoying the sun from your garden or balcony somehow has a sense of guilt attached. Not doing your daily exercise and coming out the other end as some sort of  chiseled type that can sport a skin tight shirt, skinny jeans that have had an argument with their ankles and a man bun.

Eating and drinking is not only pleasurable but, let's face it, helps while away the hours. However everyone is worrying about their intake just to add to the more obvious concerns.

When this is all over (and how many times have you heard this phrase?) will we emerge from our cocoons like butterflies or burrowing insects? will we see a kinder society, more considerate and reflective communities? Will we be grateful for the small things? Hard to say. Certainly there will be sub cultures of the Post-COVID to be defined, analysed and categorised:

The CONVIDEOGAMERS- They will emerge blinking into the light, hallucinating hostile AI every time they visit the chicken shop bought on by hours and hours of game play in curtain drawn bedrooms

The COVNIDEGOISTS- Having spent the duration exercising like an American Con in an Alabama prison yard, they will renter society bulging with muscles, 0%fat and massive narcissism 

The CONVESTIGATORS- weeks of investigating and researching will yield countless experts on the global pandemic, Bat DNA, Bermuda Triangle, Uri Geller 5G, Beiderbeck  conspiracy. They will, of course, have ben right all along.

The CONVIDIABETICS - Those with pre Corona diets of appalling grey matter from chicken shops will have gorged on substitute material and family sized bottles of full fat Coke and therefore will wobble back onto the high street at an even slower rate than before

I'm not saying that there will be a ravaged landscape populated by gangs of mutated twerps, but we should prepare ourselves for the worst. The best way to do this, I reckon, is to choose the kindness option. Being considerate and appreciative of what we've been through and those who have put themselves on the line for the greater good has to be the answer. Being the Butterfly and not the exo-skeletoned freak has to be more appealing.

Even a cynic like me can believe in a better post COVID world.