POLITICAL APOCALYPSE

The political landscape doesn't change but the cast rotates and we all have to grin and bear it. It defies logic what's been going on at the other side of rotating door of 10 Downing Street, it feels like musical chairs is the new manifesto. Default leaders in charge of a listing ship do not inspire confidence, nor do they make a rational argument for not having an election, where the Great British Public can make a decision as to who they might prefer to take the reins.

It's hard to know who to trust though, that's the biggest take away from all this. Are any of the senior politicians who might fill the hot seat trustworthy? do any of them not have corruption shaped skeletons in their closets? It seems that they all have stories of arrogance, back handers, illicit liaisons and other shenanigans that don't befit a leader.

This is the modern political dilemma; the lesser of evils is the choice. The least grubby, the preference. The less tainted, gets the nod. In the ongoing political apocalypse every candidate appears to be a Colonel Kurtz.

Someone once said "democracy isn't working" and as it's the only system available I guess we are stuck with it. However, democracy can only work if the voter is educated. It can only work if, once educated, the voter can trust the candidates, and if the last couple of decades have taught us anything is that, while trust funds are abundant, trustworthiness is in short supply in Westminster

MAKE THE DECISION TO SEE DECISION TO LEAVE

Decision To Leave sees Park Chan-wook reassert himself as the leading Korean director and more, he reminds everyone that he is in the upper echelons of directors, full stop. It’s a film that channels Neo-Noir, Police Procedural and Melodrama to mesmerising effect, oh, and it looks amazing.

The performances from the two leads Tang Wei and Park Hae-il are quietly intoxicating and a counterpoint to the drama and violence on the surface. Each scene is composed in such a way as to make you want to linger and absorb the atmosphere. The enigmatic nature of the story leaves us with questions and conclusions we aren’t sure of.

It’s a beautiful film which showcases Kim Ji-yong’s cinematography to full effect in both landscape and domestic tableau. It leaves you feeling satisfied with the experience yet unsure of the denouement. It’s been compared to Vertigo, and if it has any similarities with Hitchcock’s masterpiece it’s in the way it makes one evaluate the meaning of obsession and how it can manipulate us, all of us.

THE BIG FOUR -OH!

So, I’ve reached the big four-oh. No, not in age; that was some time ago, I’m talking about new films seen this year; the majority at the Cinema. On balance there have been some good films with a dash of disappointing ones. Heres my list in order of favourite to least favourite

1. Titane- Unique, powerful and provocative. I loved Titane,  Rouselle and Lindon are superb

2. Moonage Daydream-Mesmeric film making

3. Red Rocket-Misfits connecting in this wonderful under seen drama 

4. Ambulance- Totally unexpected action treat. Adrenaline paced fun

5. Licorice Pizza-PTA brings us yet another excellent piece of filmaking

6. The Northman-Powerful movie that punches you in the face

7. Nightmare Alley-As remakes go, this is right up there

8. Parallel Mothers- A film that spins it's web deftly

9. Here Before-Andrea Risborough is one of the greatest actors currently working and her intensity is perfect for the subject matter

10. Belfast-This coming of age story is great in every department

11. The Batman-Tremendous tale of the new Dark Knight

12. True Things-An intense tale of desire and obsession

13. Boiling Point-Stephen Graham gives a bravura performance in this anxiety inducing one shot

14. The Duke-I thoroughly enjoyed this whimsical movie. As one would expect, great performances from Jim Broadbent and Helen Mirren

15. The Real Charlie Chaplin-Superb insight to the once most famous man on the planet

16. The Worst Person In The World-Life with it's complications unwrapped in this terrific drama

17. Top Gun : Maverick-Surprise of the year, losing oneself in this movie is what cinema is all about

18. Men-When Eve ate the apple in the garden of Eden...

19. Prey-Great concept executed with panache

20. Nope-Peele does it again. He has a masterpiece in him methinks

21. Operation Mincemeat-An efficient drama about wartime ingenuity

22. X - Great surprise this tidy tale of terror

23. Dr Strange In The Multiverse Of Madness-For Comic book fans this Sam Raimi offering has it all

24. The Gray Man-Has it's knockers but is enjoyable high octane hokum

25. The Tragedy Of Macbeth-Visually great tale of the Scottish King

26. Where The Crawdads Sing-Interesting slow burn movie

27. Death On The Nile-Christie done just right

28. Black Phone-A retro tale that's really effective

29. Don’t worry Darling-Florence Pugh is immense. Some casting issues but enjoyable

30. Jackass Forever-Funny? Yes in parts, a reasonable finale for the boys

31. The Power Of The Dog-Looks great but somewhat lack lustre

32. Fresh-A decent concept but lacked real jeopardy

33. Thor : Love & Thunder-Decent in parts, lightness and darkness in equal measure

34. Everything Everywhere All At Once -A tad too meandering for me 

35. The Matrix Resurrections-Forgettable

36. West Side Story-To remake a masterpiece you need to nail it. Spielberg didn't nail it

37. Eternals-Unsure what sort of movie it wanted to be

38. The Unbearable Weight Of Massive Talent-The Unbearable Waste Of Massive Talent

39. Bullet Train-A nineties Guy Richie wannabe that fails even that task

40. Crimes Of The Future-As a big fan of Cronenberg I have to say that this is his "forget it he's rolling" moment

MONARCHY IN THE UK

 

Covid, Brexit, War in Ukraine, Boris Johnson, James Corden set to return to UK. Just when you thought we had been given every sort of setback The Queen dies. The surprise element of this was not great to be fair, but it still resonated.

Her passing inevitably raised questions about the nature of Royalty and the ins and outs of a republic. Words like 'traitor' and 'sheep' were bandied about in place of rational debate and it seemed that one was expected to be in one camp or the other. But here's the thing, you can feel a bit sad about the Queen's death and not be a staunch monarchist. You can reflect on how things feel rather strange without queueing up for 32 hours to pay your respects, and you can acknowledge the passing of a human being that was probably around for all of your life without wanting to hang dissenters from the flagpole of the local Town Hall.

The fact that Charles is going to henceforth be on our coins, notes, stamps and cheap novelty products on sale around the Tower of London and Oxford Street feels a bit odd, but that's how it is.

Those that object to Charles taking over have every right to voice that opinion and to a great degree the Police have opened themselves up to some, for want of a better word, piss-taking, on this matter.

Will they arrest people with banners hoisted proclaiming

MY KNOTING!

IGNOMY TK!

TONING MY K!

KING MONTY!

The vagaries of free speech and offence open themselves up to comedic possibilities akin to the output of Goons, who Charles was a big fan of.

Maybe some levity will prick the bubble of the current tone exemplified by BBC coverage which is should be renamed Mourn Hub*.

Sometimes people don't know how to react in these situations, what they think they should or shouldn't say or do, how they should feel or think and in the end you can't ignore the fact that this country has a monarchy and that has an impact on the nation.

The Queen is gone and the Monarchy continues (for now) and that's just how it is and it's fine to disagree with that reality, it's fine to embrace it but I think that any real scrutiny about the future of the establishment can wait. It can wait until everyone has had enough time to reflect on the end of an era

* I can't take credit for this phrase, or credit he author, but well done

IT'S MORE THAN MY JOBSWORTH

 

Being a small fish in a small pond is actually a thing you know and a Facilities Manager can be that literal small fry. The Facilities Manager at a small project that shares space with other organisations should be sociable, a good communicator and able to foster good relationships between parties.

I say "should" but unfortunately there is this hypothetical fellow that seems to have created his own vision of his role and his importance in the scheme of things. Let's call him Ian.

Ian loves a sign, usually a grammatically wanting context free sign printed in Comic Sans sellotaped on a wall (it's impossible to take someone seriously who uses Comic Sans) He also loves to stroll around looking like he's actually doing something when in fact he is basically stretching his legs. 

Ian is very good at sending badly drafted emails telling people not to do stuff, like, don't leave the windows open, don't forget to put the new toilet roll in the holder, don't forget to turn the tap off, don't forget to turn the lights off...you get the idea.

Ian's real forte though, is his ability to get under one's skin by repetition of small things that seem designed to get one's back up. Going from room to rom during the winter turning the radiators down so that a visit to the toilet becomes akin to a trip to Antartica is one of his favourites as is his ability to distract staff members with his incessant gossiping.

Fortunately my hypothetical company are leaving Ian's clutches at the end of the month. I am sure he will be as sad as I will be happy, as there will be less people for him to annoy.

There's no need for it! that's my view, why be annoying and petty when you can be kind and helpful? It takes much less energy and makes you feel good.

Fundamentally it all boils down to fulfilling a need. Ian perhaps only has power at work and therefore has a grossly exaggerated sense of his importance. It's sad really and once some time has passed I can be more reflective from the safety of the new hypothetical office, but for now and the next 4 days I will be monitoring my emails with a sense of dread, keeping one eye open for Comic Sans pronouncements and listening out for the sound of his footfalls of dread.

FOR FORKS SAKE!

 

Sign of the tines

Having just returned from the sunny climes of Greece to the sunny climes of London I have cast my mind back, as you do, to the world of 'this time last week'. Many good memories of a very relaxing break on the lovely island of Rhodes, but one I keep coming back to, one conundrum witnessed daily and still hard to fathom. A mystery that I have no explanation for, a phenomenon that defies logic.

What is this outrage you may ask dear reader, well that's the thing; it sounds trivial, but it isn't.

It's the way in which people hold their forks. Yes, things have escalated in the cutlery gripping department to the extent that all sorts are cack handedly brandishing forks at mealtimes. I'm not talking about etiquette or any other ideas of what is acceptable in polite society. I'm talking about ugly forkage.

This is not a greek thing, everyone's at it! Our hotel contained representatives of a number of nations and almost uniformly there were representatives of the fork handing misfits society.

Some grips looked like the act of contortionists, others looked like Edward Scissorhands trying to button a shirt, while there were those who came across as playing invisible cat's cradle.

I assumed that we all learnt to use cutlery correctly as part of growing up as a standard piece of development. I always assumed that the most efficient, practical and comfortable way to spear food was via the standard method but I may have been wrong all these years.

This new way of eating comes across as a bit affected in it's impracticality at best, and wilfully bizarre at worst.

Next time you eat out have a look around and I bet you will see more and more manually challenged diners brandishing their eating utensil in the manner of a human octopus hybrid.

NINETEEN SEVENTY SIX DEGREES

It lasted for a month, the heatwave of 1976, a whole month, and it was great. There wasn't any hysteria just a lot of people making the most of it. It seemed to me at the time that this was an opportunity to get out and about, shirtless, seeking fountains and ponds, listening out for the chimes of the Ice Cream van and hanging around in the park seeking distractions and mischief.

It was almost a national celebration despite the water shortages, and tales of Queen's Guards collapsing. The papers and TV were full of people adapting to the scorching temperatures and the mood was light. Being a kid at the time, for myself and my friends it felt like the summer of our lives. Days were very long, evenings bright and sleep hard to get but well deserved after a day of travelling around the city.

This time around, our two day heatwave is in the context or aversion  to risk and the associated potential problems of having the windows open. Maybe it's an increased awareness of the harmful nature of exposure to the sun and extreme heat. Or perhaps because we have been and are still living in a Covid world. One things for sure is that it cannot be as much fun as that glorious summer of 1976

BOB & BROOKE A STRANGE RELATIONSHIP

Bob Hope, a Londoner born in 1903 and Brooke Shields, born in New York in 1965 shared a working relationship that bordered on the bizarre. A new starlet ascending the Hollywood ladder and a legend considered passé often pictured together, usually with Bob wearing outfits and wigs of varying degrees of silliness. For some reason Brooke consigned the relationship to the dustbin when recollecting her journey to stardom, perhaps reflecting that on the way up Hollywood demands that you step over those on the way down.

 

SHEER SHARK ATTACK!

Sharks and comic books have a long and glorious partnership. A shark on a cover is visual dynamite and when combined with a muscular hero or svelte heroine you should have a publication that flies off the shelves.

My all time favourite comic cover is Guns Against Gangsters number 6 by legendary artist L.B. Cole which is peak Shark Comic Cover. The frightening jaws of doom menacing a fearless femme fatale brandishing a knife and Red ankle-strap Stilettos.

The glory days of Shark Comic covers was the Fifties when pulp titles went for sensation on the cover to sell the contents within and these covers have a raw power that has been diluted through commerciality over the years.

It was inevitable that with the growth of Marvel and DC we would see the humble shark adorning all sorts of covers in all sorts of situations.the art, probably more polished, the colouring more expansive due to technological advances but for me, you just can't beat the old covers where the apex predator shared top billing with the star

JAMES CAAN

The actor James Caan sadly passed away and perhaps he is best known for his role of Sonny Corleone who perished in a hail of bullets, or Jonathon E the anti hero of future violent sport Rollerball. His turn as the author beset by a super fan with an obsession verging on lunacy in Misery or his many muscular and intense performances will be remembered with respectful pleasure.

For me, his turn in Michael Mann's Thief (1981) as the main protagonist Frank, is his most important role. Important as it's the defining and most influential Neo Noir performance of all.

The Neo Noir aesthetic showed early signs of definition in the seventies but really became identifiable in the eighties Frank in Thief is almost a blueprint for what followed with the likes of Drive, Heat, Payback, The Grifter, Momento and many others.

Caan plays an antihero of real intensity who gets caught up in a web that he has little control of. His performance as the existential protagonist struggling to complete his journey is superb.

With Thief James Caan may very well be the godfather of Neo Noir.

James Caan 1940-2022

THE JOY OF BOOKS

I am going on holiday. Not earth shattering news I know, but for me, it's the first holiday in two and a half years due to a number of conspiring factors. This time around I'm taking books, plenty of books. No electronic media for me. I may take one of the books I read again every couple of years;

I might buy something new, or borrow a book. I may opt for something I've never got round to reading but always wanted to. I might even buy a trilogy or collection. I do like a good biography and might need to spend an afternoon browsing in an actual bookshop.

One thing I do know, is that when I lay down in the warm Mediterranean sun and open a book I will be transported to another place, the stresses and worries of recent times will be temporarily lifted and I will feel relaxed, at rest and very happy. That, dear reader, is the joy of books