The Darkness-Polanski's Repulsion
Sometimes the hardest thing that a human being has to do is not run a marathon, climb a mountain or sit an exam, nor is it lose a stone in four weeks, make a speech or go up the aisle, it’s simply getting out of bed. When pulling back the sheets and arising becomes a task so overwhelmingly difficult it’s a hard thing to explain.
The darkness is inescapable, all pervading. It’s not a question of being unable to face the day it’s about having a reason or purpose to do so. The world does not stop revolving if one person hibernates; that one person being you. The planet keeps spinning without you so what difference does it make to be out in that world. That’s the thinking when the darkness envelopes you. Some experts say depression and anxiety the terms ‘dread’ and ‘emptiness’ are more expressive of the feeling. “Pull yourself together” that’s the mantra. It’s like saying to a non swimmer who is floundering in the deep end “just swim to the side”
Broken bones, hangovers, neurological pain are all experiences that have us crying out for painkillers and sympathy but they are as nothing compared to the darkness because there is no pain relief, no physiotherapy, sympathy is unwanted. The desire to be left alone is enormous, to blank out everyone and everything (the exact opposite of what will make you feel better) is the reality of the situation.
Whoever or whatever invented the darkness is an evil and cruel entity, with no sense of humour.
But (and that’s a big word in this context), but there is a way forward, a way of banishing the darkness and that first literal step from bed to bathroom from bathroom to stair from hall to front door and from front door to pavement is as meaningful as Neill Armstrong’s lunar tread.
The thing of it is that when the darkness fades and the cold air of the outside world, the warmth of the sun touch you the euphoria of achievement is all encompassing.
No person standing atop a summit or breasting the tape ever felt as good.
When the darkness takes over there is a big padlock on the door and when the darkness is defeated that door is wide open. The end of darkness is always a ‘tomorrow’ away. Tomorrow has a double edge it can be the most dispiriting word or the 'greatest'. Choose Laurel and Hardy not Lars Von Trier, choose Stevie Wonder not Leonard Cohen, sometimes those simple things make a difference. Choose 'greatest' whenever possible.
I say a little prayer-The sublime version
This song and this particular performance should make anyone who hears it feel good, very good!