Tuesday, 30 November 2010

The ice age is coming the suns zooming in meltdown expected the wheat is growing thin

Oh gosh it’s going to snow, what are we to do? Fire brigade are on standby and stocks of baked beans are nearing depletion. The snow will chain us to our living rooms unable to walk the few yards to the corner shop, incapable of making it in to work due to the snowdrifts. The landscape will be covered in abandoned vehicles and makeshift igloos. It’s going to snow and the whole of the country will grind to a halt. Here in London we will be hardest hit as the double deckers and wine bars will have no one to man the pumps. Our gastro pubs and Gentleman’s clubs will be like ghost ships, our Organic butchers and tapas bars will be deserted.
The local news carries the story of impending cold weather lockdown with all the gravitas usually bestowed on hurricanes and other natural disasters.
After all we never get snow in Britain so we are rightly unprepared. I shall be hitting the shops first thing to stock up on Pesto, canned soup and London Pride. The nuclear winter of discontent approaches, but I shall keep calm and carry on regardless.
frost proof
snow seen
ice ice baby

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having said that;