Wednesday, 2 June 2010


Team America; World Police is a perfect example of infantile yet clever humour. Taking a Thunderbirds view of jingoistic action movies this film is full of ludicrous innuendo, broad humour and satirical swipes at Hollywood and the industrial military complex, oh and has a pop at Kim Johng Il, Michael Moore and just about every action movie cliche.
Terrific stuff!

Spottswoode: Remember, there is no "I" in "Team America".

Intelligence: [pause] Yes, there is

Joe: Your plan will fail! You'll never keep the world leaders distracted here for 9 hours!

Kim Jong Il: Oh no? I've got Arec Barrwin!

Joe: Dear God!

Spottswoode: Team, this is all my fault. I was overzealous in Cairo. I let racism cloud my judgment. I was so sure the ultimate terrorist was Middle Eastern, but I didn't realize he was a goddamn Gook. I'll never be a racist again.

Gary Johnston: I'm leaving. I'm out.

Spottswoode: No, Gary! You can't leave! We need you now, more than ever!

Gary Johnston: Don't you see what's going on out there? Everyone hates us!

Spottswoode: Hey, now, everyone hated Winnie the Pooh, too.

Gary Johnston: No, they didn't!

Spottswoode: Well, I did. That cocksucking bear killed Jack Kennedy!

Chris: [not moving] I was nineteen years old when the musical Cats came to our town.

[Gary stops and listens]

Chris: I couldn't wait to see it. After the show I was asked if I wanted to go meet some of the performers backstage. Man, I was thrilled. But when I got back there, they were drunk and out of control. Rumpus Cat and Macavity kept feeling up my leg. I tried to leave, but, Rumpleteazer held me down, and... I was raped by Mr. Mistoffelees

Gary Johnston: OK, a limosine that can fly. Now I have seen everything.

Spottswoode: Really? Have you seen a man eat his own head?

Gary Johnston: No.

Spottswoode: So then, you haven't seen everything

Gary Johnston: [Gary sees the limo] Oh, I get it. I'm supposed to get inside your limo and let you put your finger inside me. And if I go down on you, I get a movie part.

Spottswoode: Uh, no. I just want to show you something.

Gary Johnston: Yeah I bet you do.

Spottswoode: Please, Gary. I'm not from Hollywood, I'm not going to fuck your mouth, and my time is EXTREMELY valuable!

Gary Johnston: Jesus, this is a nice limo.

Spottswoode: Yes, it is. Now suck my cock.

Gary Johnston: HOLY SHIT! What happened to the base?

Intelligence: It was destroyed by a socialist weasel.

Spottswoode: Gary, if for some reason your cover is blown, and the terrorists take you prisoner, well, you'll probably want to take your own life. Here, you'd better have this.
[hands Gary a hammer]

Sean Penn: Last year I went to Iraq. Before Team America showed up, it was a happy place. They had flowery meadows and rainbow skies, and rivers made of chocolate, where the children danced and laughed and played with gumdrop smiles

Lisa: Promise me you'll never die.

Gary Johnston: You know I can't promise that.

Lisa: If you did that, I would make love to you right now.

Gary Johnston: I promise I'll never die.

Janeane Garofolo: As actors, it is our responsibility to read the newspapers, and then say what we read on television like it's our own opinion

Chris: Jesus tittyfucking Christ dude, i could have sworn she was telling the truth!

Gary Johnston: That's why they call it acting

Spottswoode: Great job, team. Head back to base for debriefing and cocktails

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having said that;