Wednesday, 31 March 2010


“The light that burns twice as bright burns for half as long - and you have burned so very, very brightly” -Eldon Tyrell

Marilyn Monroe dream woman of the 20th century

James Dean precursor and icon of youthful cool

Laurie Cunningham Trailblazing black player

River Phoenix talented child actor turned talented adult until he took a wrong turn
Bill Hicks; The term ‘comic genius’ short changes him
Keith Haring often copied never bettered
Aliyah, Before Beyonce she was R & B star turned actress turned brand
Otis Redding absolute soul legend

Bruce Lee Oriental superstar

Patsy Cline the voice of heart break
Keith Moon put the Star into Rock star

Carole Lombard, sexy, funny, witty and a match for Clark Gable

Charlie Parker; There was no one quite like Bird

And still with us but….
Mike Tyson Former most dangerous man on the planet

Tuesday, 30 March 2010


In Tribute to a great show that we have alll seen here are some Only Fools and Horses rarities you may not have viewed. Enjoy

Del Boy & Boycie Car Advert
Del Boy Abbey National Advert

OF&H lost Christmas mini episode

OF&H Royal Variety Show appearance

Del Boy on Watchdog

Monday, 29 March 2010

Its Top trumps time

As we head into the local elections season we find ourselves in a period of 'purdah'. This is a local government thing that basically prohibits talking about political candidates. Which is ironic, as there is nothing to talk about. Nor can employees give any support which is again ironic as supportability is not something that candidates have.

The reason I say this is because having received leaflets and letters from candidates I have found these documents useful for only one thing; Top Trumps.

Like the card game popularised in the eighties and rejuvenated to include Doctor who and Wrestling, the candidates have categories (items) that can be matched and rated.

• Empty Promises
• Criticism of other candidates
• Crime reduction pledges
• Safer neighbourhood guarantees
• Believability
• Smugness

The player with the best or highest values wins each hand and the player with all the cards at the end wins.

It may seem flippant to reduce politics to the simplicity of a card game but deciding which candidate is the least untrustworthy is something of a gamble and I cant help but think that whoever is elected the decks are loaded against us.

electric boogaloo

I just can't i just can't i just can't control my feet...

Sunday, 28 March 2010

A list of Scottish actors

1. Ian Bannen
2. Jamie Sives
3. Moira Shearer
4. Alastair Sim
5. Bill Paterson
6. Sean Connery
7. Brian Cox
8. Tom Conti
9. Gordon Jackson
10. Deborah Kerr
11. Shirley Henderson
12. Fulton Mackay
13. Denis Lawson
14. Ewen Bremner
15. Robert Carlyle
16. James McAvoy
17. John Laurie
18. Kelly Macdonald
19. David McCallum
20. Douglas Henshall
Just a list of Scotlands finest thespians!
The opening scene The Offence starring Ian Bannen & Sean Connery (1972 Sidney Lumet)

Friday, 26 March 2010

Little known facts about Captain Kirk

1) Likes Comic Books

2. Loved Clubbing on Friday nights

3. A career in childcare
4. Combines a love of dogs with Archery

and 5. Has lost a lot of weight recently.

respect to GP

Dirty? Sexy? Funny?

Sexy ?

In a formula first popularised by Candid Camera,expanded upon by Trigger Happy TV and taken on a tangent by Phone Jacker Olivia Lee fronts a new show on Comedy Central. The show takes a pot shot at TV shows like Gossip Girl, MTV's real world shows,Ugly Betty and other chick fare, lite on depth high on shallow.

The star plays larger-than life pranks on unsuspecting members of the public, who become part of the action. As well as the stunts, the series also features a number of scripted sketches and various characters from Lee and her collaborators.
Olivia creates character (some more successful than others) which include Miss Single, a desperate single exasperating estate agents and salesman
Ms Technophobe,pissing off shop assistants The Door Bitch,Lady Gatecrasher, Obsessive neurotic Flatmate and Bad Date girl,who's shtick is tricking blokes into embarrassing themselves whilst dinning in Theberton Street Islington.
The performances by Olivia vary in impact however she does have a genuine persona that comes across. Some of the writing is inventive oblique and pretty funny;
"I want a skinny Yakaccino, I'm cow milk intolerant so it's made with Yaks milk"
"Go on show him how you moon walked in court?"
"You dirty little cowboy and I'm your Indian"
"oh, your hands were up in my business last night"
"Are we going somewhere that rhymes with 'Blearter'?"
"That's three words and neither one of them is the special word"
"Can you back off mate? I've sentenced her to my cock"

It's essentially a mix of real set ups and fakery but shows a fledgling talent.
For Olivia the message is; watch this space

Thursday, 25 March 2010

my definition of #5 Schoolboy crush

Caroline Munro

as seen in many a dodgy movie, killed by James Bond, bitten by Dracula and took part in adventues with Sinad and all over the galaxy. When I was a kid she certainly hit my buttons.

Wednesday, 24 March 2010

Bland Dates Berks and Bimbos

Take Me Out is one of ITV's Saturday night specials. Hosted by the cringinly inept Paddy McGuinness this is a committee of producers reinvention of blind date; Bland date would have been a more fitting title. It is an empty, mind numbing,vacant, unappealing, poorly executed, cringe making, nauseating, soul crushing, judgemental,gender stereotyping,generic,embarrassing, piece of televisual detritus bereft of any reasonable benefit to society.
It is all about judging on appearance and trying to out shallow each other as a parade of dunderheaded men try to sell themselves to a panel of cretinous women, in order to win a date to a cheap bar in Manchester.
To punctuate the quiet bits McGuinness' script writers give him what amounts to audio excrement in the way of witty repartee.
This shallow and tepid offering says it all about producing a product to appeal to a demographic; it's clearly designed to appeal to youngish singles getting ready for a night out in a fun pub or theme bar where they will drink copious amounts of Bacardi Breezer and cheap lager and snog in double figures followed by the possibility of a knee trembler and a kebab on the way home.
If that's the market for Take Me Out the producers have got it spot on!

Monday, 22 March 2010

a dark journey with Lizzie and Sarah

Lizzie and Sarah is the dark and surreal product of Julia Davis best known for the ultra dark Nighty Night and Jessica Haynes from Spaced.
It’s extreme yet funny, dark yet humorous it is above all a show that has moments when you don’t know whether to laugh or cry. A challenging programme among the unimaginative dross.
Two suburban wives who take a twisted journey, with shades of Thelma and Louse on crack. Murder, bullying, self loathing and extreme behaviour are par for the course for our heroines. It was shown at 11.45 Saturday night probably because of it’s other worldly content, but deserves a larger audience. It will become a major hit if handled right and is already pencilled in by me as essential viewing.
To quote the Head of the shows production company "It's darker than the BBC had anticipated and it caught them by surprise."
So get on board now before it becomes the latest cult show leading to critical acclaim.
episode 1 on iPlayer

Sunday, 21 March 2010


1. David Kleinfeld (Sean Penn) –Carlitos way
2. Kip Dynamite (Aaron Ruell) -Napoleon Dynamite
3. Fielding Melisch (Woody Allen)- Bananas
4. Fredo Corleone (Jon Cazale) -Godfather 2
5. The Platoon (Bill Murray, Harold Ramis, John Candy et al)-Stripes
6. Morris ‘Morrie’ Kessler (Chuck Low)– Goodfellas
7. Flounder (Steven Furst) – Animal House
8. Seymour (Steve Buscemi)–Ghost World
9. Sal (Jon Cazale) – Dog Day Afternoon
10. Otis (Ned Beatty)-Superman the Movie
hounorable mentions to...
James Bond (Roger Moore)- Octopussy,Stan (Jon Cazale again)-The Deer Hunter & Borat (Sacha Baron Cohen)